>Think of a person who really bugs you. Think of a place you’d like to send this person. Then – mentally – send them there. With that in mind, start with …
The post card arrived all singed around the edges. “Having a lovely time here in Hell,” it read, and I had to think for a moment who I might currently know in Hell, and then I remembered. I shook my head. I’d only given it a fleeting thought the last time another of her vicious little lies had reached my ears. “Go to Hell,” I’d thought … and as the memory returned I literally felt the blood run cold in my veins. Oh no, please say I hadn’t done it again. “Go to Hell,” I’d said to her in my mind, but out loud I’d added: “You need your nasty little tongue ripping out of your ugly little head.” It had been over in a flash, but it had been said. I couldn’t un-say it.
This had happened twice before. The first time someone had annoyed me I’d muttered: “You want to watch that blood pressure.” A week later she had a fatal stroke. The second time was a sanctimonious little shit using a cancer charity fundraiser to boost his own application for an OBE. “You want to watch out that this cancer doesn’t turn around and bite you on the bum!” Fortunately, he’s in remission now … I’d controlled it ever since but this one little thing had made my blood boil … and now here she was sending me a post card from Hell. Oh dear. I read on.
“Having a lovely time here in Hell. The weather is scorchingly hot every single day, but that’s good. There’s this chap here with a funny little pointy tail that does all the cooking. He’s a fantastic chef and he’s promised me roast tongue for dinner. Wish you were here. Lots of love.”
Oh dear … (292 words)
© Diane Parkin 2010
Q. Describe the ideal place to write. Be very specific and detailed. Go there in your mind the next time you write. See how your writing changes.
A. My ideal place to write is at a desk or table in front of French windows that overlook a quiet, beautiful water garden with scented shrubs and flowers, fountains and waterfalls, and lots of buzzing wildlife. The garden looks lovely at every time of the year, with nature providing a stunning and changing display of colours. Way beyond the garden, but close enough to see, is the beach, and going the other way are snow-capped mountains.