It’s been like New Street Station these past few days (or Picadilly Circus, wherever you prefer). Particularly yesterday.
First of all it was the window cleaner, then the damp proof injection lads came. While they were here the milkman called for his money. And then the council called.
The council called because I’ve been reported to them for allowing an accumulation of dog faeces in my back yard, for not cleaning up properly after my dog, and for feeding the birds and causing mice in my next door neighbour’s kitchen.
This is the next door neighbour I bought a new fence and set of gates for. The next door neighbour who put his own padlock on my gates and who created a fuss when I asked him to remove it again. The next door neighbour who claimed he was worried about losing his privacy when really he was worried about me getting privacy. The next door neighbour I had to ask not to feed my dog because he’d given him the runs and an intestinal blockage. The next door neighbour who keeps an overweight rottweiler in the back of his van.
I’d already had it out with him the night before. Well, I tried to talk to him like a grown up and he chose to ignore my polite knocking on his front door and instead took a big stick and started to bang on my kitchen window. He had to stand on a stool to reach over the 6′ fence to do this.
He raved on about me not clearing up after the dog and when I invited him to inspect my yard and show me where I’d not cleared up, he then said I was bagging it and leaving it for weeks and that I never, ever take the dog for a walk and that I should take him somewhere else to do his business. He didn’t want me swilling my yard because it went down the storm drain on his property.
Then he threatened to sort my dog out if I didn’t.
He also started to rant on about his access across my land saying he was entitled to park his vehicle on my property. I reminded him that he had pedestrian access rights, that I’d given him vehicle access rights as a goodwill gesture, and that didn’t give him loitering rights. So he said he’d let the police sort it out …
And that was my other visitor …
But … the council are happy that I actually do more than what I’m expected to do in the way I clean up after the dog, and they asked me to make a point of swilling the yard with detergent or disinfectant. I pointed out that my neighbour didn’t want me doing that, and why, and the council man couldn’t get his breath. Particularly when I told him that my next door neighbour keeps a rottweiler in the back of his van and that he sits the van on my property while he swills it out …
He asked about me feeding the birds and I said I’d not fed the birds for months because the cats keep killing them. However, my next door neighbour had only that morning left half a loaf of bread out in his own garden, and if he wanted I could let him have photographs …
He was furious, saying he had whole families that needed emergency re-housing because their homes were unsuitable due to structural or environmental issues and that they’re under-staffed as it is without time wasters wasting their time. He said I was perfectly within my right to report next door neighbour feeding the birds, causing mice, swilling his van out on my property and even his wind chimes, if I was so inclined. And he said he couldn’t believe my neighbour was reporting me, maliciously and without substance, when in fact he’s doing all of those things himself.
The policeman was a very nice chap and he said it’s all civil law not criminal law. However, he did confirm that my yard was in fact spotless and that my next door neighbour should be very grateful that I bought him a new fence and gate AND gave him vehicle access. In fact he suggested I take away the vehicle access, give him pedestrian access – as required by law – and then let him pursue it through court.
So that’s an environmental health officer and a very nice policeman that will be dropping by for coffee again … I’ll expect the RSPCA next.
Honestly, some people have nothing better to do with their time. And the best (or worst) thing was, next door neighbour man admitted to spying on me from his bedroom window at 5am in the morning when I’m clearing up this muck I’m allegedly not clearing up … in my nightie! Not any more. It can wait until I’m dressed and I hope it stinks.
Oh, and I had my damp proof injection done.
And on to this morning. I’ve already taken the dog on an imaginary walk (because I never, ever walk him, let alone daily) to the vet, and he’s got the all clear. We think he does have a sensitive stomach, but we also think he must have had an infection. He’s not been sick since 9:30am last Saturday morning. We shared our imaginary walk today with a lady and her 2 dogs, so he had lots of fun and excitement and is now in his basket out for the count. Bless.
I also posted the proofing job and picked up some imaginary dog poo bags. The vet nurse said she’d mark the file that I’d walked the dog, *and* bought dog poo bags …
Stroll on the weekend. I need a rest.